I write to explore and express my mind and heart.
One simple sentence, one simple explanation yet it's been a life-line for me over a lifetime.
Writing has always been a form of therapy for me, whether I was conscious of it at the time or not. Even back to when I was a teenager, I wrote to express what I couldn't share with anyone else. I had a hard time verbalizing the words of my heart. It was so much easier to capture them on paper.
I started with poetry. Poetry held beauty and pain and I loved how it was a form of writing that felt free. My teenage, angst-filled, misunderstood heart, poured out lines to try and express the depths of my despair.
As I got older, I moved on to journaling and wrote the words that I couldn't share with anyone else. My journals became a safe place to try and understand my thoughts and feelings. I could express rage on the page when it didn't feel safe in "real life". I could reveal the true dark feelings of depression when the darkness made me feel like I was drowning.
Now, I write as a form of catharsis. I write the stories from the past as a means to extricate myself from the emotional pain and trauma that they've held over me. I find especially, in this kind of writing, profound liberation. I've been able to dissolve lifetimes of hurt by being brave enough to dive head first into the pain and the tears and write the wounds out of me.
Nothing has given me more clarity, more self-awareness than the act of writing out my thoughts and feelings. I guess that's why it's always been hard for me to write fiction. There is too much emotional and mental treasure to mine in the mind of someone highly sensitive and emotional like me.
I know that I have it in me to explore more creative writing, and sometimes I do. Yet, I love writing about feelings and thoughts and emotions. I love writing about self-awareness and self-love. I love writing about vulnerability and courage and I love writing to explore every beautiful pain and gift that my journey brings.
Writing has always been therapy for me yet it's also something more. It's a part of who I am, the very channel for my heart's expression. It's like a direct line to my Soul and the vessel for it's inner wisdom.
Tracy Kelly is a writer and artist from London, Ontario Canada who manages Anxiety, Depression and Fibromyalgia.